imabitch

I gotta get out of here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get out of here And I'm begging you,
I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape

The level of competitiveness is just way beyond, amazing.
In a way, it's good. However, there ought to be consequences too.
Suddenly, I'm feeling all emo, there's so much going on, I just
don't know where to start I wish I could talk to someone bout it!
I hate keeping things to myself I'm going to explode soon.

You know, sometimes it wouldnt hurt to just say a simple hi.
I'm not going to bother anymore, because you obviously dont give
a shit, so why should I fucking be putting in 100% effort when you
don't even give 1% of your own damn effort! And you can tell your
"perfectionist" to stop avoiding me cause I seriously can't be bothered,
and I won't waste me time on the both of you, cos you'll are simply way
too COOL for anyone, except yourselves. I hate doing this, but you'll
have left me with no other options, I've done my part I've tried. I'm
very tired, I give up. Happy?

On the other hand, I'm so glad that at least, I've started talking to
Belle just a few days back. I wish I could meet up with her soon, and
catch things up though. I want her to know that I'll still be here just
like how she's consistently been there the last two years, just being
a great listener and adviser.

I don't know, it's just a mixture of feelings I'm so sick & tired.
Everyday, feels like something is missing The more I try to look for
it the nmore it runs away from me. I wish I could be stronger and
remind myself to follow my heart even though I might not trust what
it would tell me.

It's unfair, how people can be such scheaming and cruel bitches behind
your back, and all nice and caring in front of you. I don't care what you
think of this post, I don't even know if you'll read this, but seriously
I've had enough of this, I think enough is enough. Has it ever occured to
you, the consequences those actions of yours have caused?

It's far beyond words, and I'm extremely upset.
I'm very very very very tired already.
I'm off to sleep, goodnight.

posted by stacey @ Friday, May 19, 2006